Dating apps are meant to be an addition to your repertoire; they are not the cure-all.
And they certainly won’t do the dirty work for you when it comes to falling in love, says Coles.
Traditional (offline) daters, or those just getting back in the game (albeit in a vastly different landscape) may be happy to hear that her biggest takeaway is a bit “old school:” Take the relationship offline as soon as possible.“Online dating is a bit like Costco, there's an enormous range of options.
You have to look for the fresh produce aisle,” says Coles.
Does sitting across from a stranger in a loud bar making small talk for 55 minutes sound like your idea of fun? Coles also says this type of date places too much pressure on both parties. It will be so much easier.”Texting or talking on the phone for a period of time can manufacture a sense of false familiarity.
“Don't just sit across the bar from each other, staring at each other thinking, ‘Is this the one? “Have your first date be something you do together. But you don’t truly know that person before you spend time together.
And it's easy to become a voyeur on other people's lives, and become less of a participant in your own life,” says Coles. And if you have a bigger life there'll be more people in it.
“What the book really encourages people to do is to get up and put your devices down, and get out there and have fun and connect with people. And you'll have more people to share with.”NEXT: How to use sexting to improve your marriage Want more tips like these?
Dating apps are fantastic in that they provide incredible options.
By the age of 27, you are several years removed from college, likely already installed in a solid job, all those obligatory one-night-stands are out of the way, and you've had enough time to settle down and find "the one." The idea of dating after 40 simply didn't exist.
But while divorce rates have decreased, after a steady uptick, plenty of people re-enter the dating scene later in life.
When seeking a new mate, you have way more responsibilities and things that demand your attention at this stage than when you were in college or just graduating.
"Dating is going to have a different landscape after 40 because people are more likely to have been through a divorce or have kids," relationships expert Jennifer Seiter told me.
Here are the ways dating is different when you are 40 and over.