The same people who say “you’re going to want to experience sex with lots of people” are also the ones who will say that “kissing can be as intimate as sex,” so this kissing example holds with their logic, IMHO.The whole flaw in this argument is that it completely ignores the notions of love and commitment.If you’re unsatisfied with your marriage, you might have a strong desire to have a sexual experience with that attractive stranger.You may start bemoaning your decision to wait until marriage for sex, and resent it for robbing you of sexual variety. And for that reason you don’t notice them when they present themselves [Source: Scientific journals on Inattentiveness to Alternatives]. According to several studies, do you know what happens when happily-married people encounter attractive alternative partners?
Non-virgins offer this up as an objection because they’ve been in a situation where they sucked and the other person didn’t (due to having more sexual experience)…and they felt inadequate and less desirable for it.You will rarely hear a married friend make this argument to you.It’s always younger friends who are themselves doing lots of casual dating. If you’re over the age of 17, you’ve probably had a few relationships that involved kissing.But if your marriage is satisfying, two concepts come into play: Inattentiveness to Alternatives and Derogation of Alternatives. Your happily-married brain is blind to potential alternatives. They start picking the alternative partner apart and focusing on their flaws And the more threatening the stranger is to your happy marriage, the more viciously you pick them apart [Source: Scientific journals on Derogation of Alternatives] Kurt Russel once famously said, when asked how he had remained committed to Goldie Hawn while being a sex symbol, “I’ve met a lot of other women, but none of them are Goldie Hawn.” In my experience, that’s a common sentiment among people who are happy with their partners.So to summarize: Sure, you’ll occasionally notice attractive members of the opposite sex while you’re married, but only in a passing way, unless you’re otherwise unsatisfied with your marriage.The best of these people will argue as your friend, because in their own way they’re genuinely trying look out for you and they feel that they have legitimate, intellectually-sound objections to waiting till marriage that directly impact your future happiness.